Author Archives: joe bielawa

Ten Years Gone, followed by In The Light or Lyrical Therapy VI

Listening to Led Zeppelin, Physical Graffiti …my heart is  slightly heavy, my spirit clouded…and then these play:

“Ten Years Gone”

Then as it was, then again it will be
An’ though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea
Blind stars of fortune, each have several rays
On the wings of maybe, down in birds of prey
Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn’t have to grow
But as the eagle leaves the nest, it’s got so far to go

Changes fill my time, baby, that’s alright with me
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

Did you ever really need somebody, And really need ’em bad
Did you ever really want somebody, The best love you ever had
Do you ever remember me, baby, did it feel so good
‘Cause it was just the first time, And you knew you would

Through the eyes an’ I sparkle, Senses growing keen
Taste your love along the way, See your feathers preen
Kind of makes makes me feel sometimes, Didn’t have to grow
We are eagles of one nest, The nest is in our soul

Vixen in my dreams, with great surprise to me
Never thought I’d see your face the way it used to be
Oh darlin’, oh darlin’

I’m never gonna leave you. I never gonna leave
Holdin’ on, ten years gone
Ten years gone, holdin’ on, ten years gone

I think I have, may in the past, spoke of this. I guess  it occurs, registers, rings at of time placed moments of significance. Tens years gone. 12 years gone, 20 years gone what , really is the significance ?

 

 

“In The Light”

And if you feel that you can’t go on. And your will’s sinkin’ low
Just believe and you can’t go wrong.
In the light you will find the road. You will find the road

Oh, did you ever believe that I could leave you, standing out in the cold
I know how it feels ’cause I have slipped through to the very depths of my soul.
Baby, I just want to show you what a clear view it is from every bend in the road.
Now listen to me
Oh, whoa-whoa, as I was and really would be for you, too, honey
As you would for me, oh, I would share your load.
Let me share your load. Ooh, let me share, share your load

And if you feel that you can’t go on
In the light you will find the road

Though the winds of change may blow around you, but that will always be so
When love is pain it can devour you, if you are never alone
I would share your load. I would share your load
Baby, let me, oh, let me

In the light
Everybody needs the light.
In the light, in the light, in the light

Light, light, light, in the light
Light, light, light, in the light, ooh, yeah
Light, light, light, in the light

 

Got the Led out. Getting heady. It’s been awhile.

WOW! From Physical Graffiti. Truth again, overwhelms .

Musical theraphy reforged as mix of solid philosophy infused with new thought.

I have wandered from this, musical therapy. For, so, so long.

Clearly the lyrics and score were  not written to my  current state, but, oh; how they ring true, again.

Or is it just a comfort for me, to find solace in the circlaular orbital patterns of my life?

“Changes fill my time,  baby, that’s alright by me…..”

‘Though the winds of change may blow around you, but that will always be so….’

Two constants, yet always ever-changing,

I am about ready to embark on the unknown. Venture forth. I am cocky about it, yet underneath, there is a bundle of uncertainty. I follow the front more than it guides me. Yet, it quite possibly, may be one in the same.

As I process the last 19 years at this geographical location, I realize that some of the longings haven’t changed. Yet, so much has changed. So, amongst it all,  the yearnings remain the same, the thought process on how to deal with the yearnings has changed. This is a good thing.

(A screamin’ Page guitar brings me to the place it always does. Hammer of the efffing gods.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From Chaos comes Clarity.

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I am in the midst of selling  my co-op apartment as I prepare to embark on a cross-country move. A major part of this process is to go through all that I own and decide what can be donated, what can be recycled, what can be trashed and what makes the journey.

Some of these possessions have been around since childhood; some from adolescence;  others, from early adulthood and to the present day.

It is a daunting task. I have had to touch every item I own as I open and go through every drawer, nook, cranny, envelope, folder, container, box and decide; “What is the value of this?”

The throw away and the recyclable stuff was the easiest to get rid of. The stuff for donation was the next easiest, although that’s what makes up the piles in the front and the back of the apartment. I have had a couple of friends come over and go through the denotable stuff. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. That’s how I ended up with a majority of this stuff in the first place.

My first job when I returned to Minnesota in 1997 was working for a nonprofit that provided goods and services to the economically challenged of the Twin Cities. I certainly fit the bill at the time as I working for minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Oh, but what “collectables” did I acquire!

As I sit on my couch now and look out at the piles across the living room into the dining room, I am first struck by the “scent” of aged, used goods. Then secondly, by the energy of all these previously owned goods piled in mass, out in the open.

This has been the most significant for me: the energy of the stuff…and the energy I am expending going through it all and then, letting it go.

For the last couple of years in Corporateland, I have had a stress knot that runs from my right gluteal up across my back into my left shoulder. After being out of that environment and starting this moving process; as I reach to get an file out of a cabinet, a box off the floor, open a drawer….whatever the movement has been, I can feel the knot, so I flex around it and exhale. In the last week I have gained range of motion as my upper body movement becomes greater.

After some time, with the toxins of the stress knot being released, the “scent” of the goods, the handling of very item, the emotional detachment that occurs…I become drained and have to take a break. I get over heated and the top of my head is a furnace. And I realize just how much negativity I am releasing by doing this purging, this letting go.

I have also come to the understand of the “stuff” concept.  It’s really nothing but “stuff” and how much I have held on to that has just been holding me down. Physically. Mentally.  Spiritually.

Then too, there are the jewels, the precious things of my history, things that will carry into the next phase. It re-affirming to go through all of my photographs and see my growth and development as a photographer. An excitement is building to go into my film “vault” and work once again with my negatives, only this time to digitalize them.

ok, time to get back going through stuff.

 

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Exiting Corporateland and the Golden Tower of Employment

For the last 12 years I have been employed as support staff for a large international law firm. That has come to a close and my last day of work was yesterday. I have always referred to it as Corporateland on social media, so as to maintain a certain degree of anonymity. The building that houses the firm is the third tallest building in Minneapolis and has a yellow facade, that when illuminated at night has a golden tone to it, which is why I call it: The Golden Tower of Employment.

Golden Tower

When I started working for them 12 years ago, I was just  28 days clean off of crystal meth after a 18 month relapse after my second stint in rehab. I was not a happy man at that time. I had trouble looking people in the eye, was not very talkative and had a 2 pack a day Marlboro habit. Making it through the interview process and getting the job was a break I needed at the time and it certainly was a gift.

My employment history up to this time was rocky through my drug and drinking days. I would keep a job for a couple of years at most or stay just a few months or days. My shortest duration of employment lasted 90 minutes.  I seemed to have a knack for getting hired by a company that was either launching or about to go under. I would either help get the place running or would keep it a float for a while before it closed. In the later years of addiction, I was running into some sort of legal situation as I exited the company or there were the legal proceedings my life seemed to be entangled in. I always seemed to worm my way out of all the legal situations I found myself in.

When I told my mother I had landed a job in the mailroom of a law firm, her first question to me was: “How long have they been in business?” When I told her since 1886, she replied with an sigh of relief and said ” Oh thank god! This one might last! ”  She then began to lecture me saying “Don’t think you can be pulling any of that Cracker Jack junior lawyer crap you seem to think you’ve mastered in the last few years!!! You won’t be able to go head to head with these folks and win. It’s time to turn your life around and get serious!”  I agreed with her on all points.

My life has changed dramatically since I have worked with this firm and it has been a big part in my recovery from narcotics and in giving me solid ground to stand on.

It has been somewhat difficult for me as I leave, for it has been a month of good byes. It is all so strange to me. I am not used to the adoration and the well-wishes. Even as I am leaving, these folks have helped me to grow.

 

 

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The Giving of Thanks

As a child, the holidays were always a magical time in the household I grew up in. Fine home cooking, holiday treats and a huge variety of home baked cookies.  Whether the feast was hosted by my mother, one of her sisters or a Great Aunt, the Thanksgiving table could have been a scene form a Norman Rockwell painting or a photo shoot for Bon Appetite.

Christmas was no different, with the exception of the overwhelming surprise of the bounty of gifts that seemed to be larger than the Christmas Tree itself.

New Year’s Day was more of an event than the night before as some feast was prepared to herald in the New Year.

This is not to say there wasn’t dysfunction in the family and nerves were worked to a fray.

This all changed in young adulthood when I moved into my own life and the jobs I took had me working on the holidays. I tried to recreate some of the magic but it wasn’t the same. I was invited into other family situations as a guest, and that certainly was different, except for the unraveling of nerves.

As my drinking and drugging became more of a way of life, the holidays became the darkest of times. In the later years, I actually became so wigged out by the holidays that I abstained from drinking around Christmas, but never through New Years Eve.

When I first went through rehab in 1997,  my roommate worked for a non profit as resource manager, cold calling and soliciting goods for the organization. As I was just re-entering society and somewhat unemployable, I volunteered with company for a while. When he was murdered in a  violent drug scenario, I approached his employer and said “As odd as this seems, you have a job opening and I need a job” I started the next day.

One of the corner stones of this organization was it’s “Home for the Holidays” food program that fed some 3500 economically challenged people on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  The first year that I resourced the goods for Thanksgiving meal, it was all too wild when it came together. It was actually the first time I felt “whole” or “connected” on a holiday in many years.

The gig at the non-profit lasted three years and I resourced 6 holiday meals over that time. I left the charity to pursue a corporate path.

Over the last few years, I offer myself as volunteer to some nonprofit in whatever city I am in as I tend travel around the holidays.

This year, I am back in Palm Springs CA and volunteered with the organization called Well in the Desert. The church where the event was being held was one of the locations I used to go for a food handout to when I was a strung out homeless drug addict before I went to rehab. That was clearly on my mind as I walked in the door to begin my shift.

Most of the volunteers wanted to work front of house, so I hung out back in the kitchen and assisted the chef as we ran pans of hot food out to the serving line. In between, it was basic kitchen duty: drying the chafing dish pans after they were washed, prepping salad and/or cranberries, making coffee, assembling some to go plates.

It suddenly dawned on me that the people that surrounded me today were just like the cast of characters at the nonprofit I worked for years earlier. There was the guiding matriarch, the founding father, the beatnik staff, the troubled ones (the slight reflection of self), the personable photographer, the entertainers, the off-key singers.

I felt a sense of pride, accomplishment and satisfaction as I looked around and saw all this energy unfolding around me… and felt a deep understanding of how far I have come in the last 17 years. A well of emotion surged through me and tears blurred my vision. I stepped out side  into the California sunlight and let the surge flow through me.

As the event wound down and some of the street folk arrived at the last minute to ask for food…I was faced with the true reflection of what I was once was, and my heart ached for these two last minute food seekers.

After the event, I went to my friends house where I am staying and went next door, as I was invited over for Thanksgiving. Since I was late and at 52 years old, the “kid” in the room, I was placed at the far end of the table at a card table, on a folding chair. I was offered plates of bounty but declined as I had snacked some at the event I had just left. So I sat and sipped green tea and took part in the conversation with these old timers.

I finally gave in and ate. All of the food was prepared from scratch and made for this meal, there was nothing store bought, heat to eat. There was a cookie that looked like my mom’s “Tea Time Tassies”, which is a mini pecan pie type confection. I bit into it and it tasted EXACTLY like my mom’s cookie. I began to sample other treats and everything tasted like my mom’s food.

The guy immediately to my right has lived here for decades and shared stories on his time living here. He seemed at times to become lost, searching for a word, a phrase, an organizations name  and I would ask “was it ________” and deliver the word, phrase or name to him. He smiled at me as I did this and said “yes, that’s it” It was cool how I knew what he searched for.

After a couple hours of conversation, laughter and some history lessons, I accepted the host’s offer and filled up a plate to take home.

Back “home” flopped on the couch, I recall the day.  “…no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should…”

 

 

 

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Lyrical Therapy V

When I was a younger man, I lived a life of a lie. Living my life for the comfort of others, not being true to myself. This created much internal conflict and was a main factor driving my addiction. Eventually this charade became too unbearable to continue and I began to truly live my life for who I am…who I was born to be. I identify with this song so much…

 

An Easier Affair – George Michael

Here comes one for the ladies

For the ones who love me
To think I thought I could be some kind of family man
I told myself I was straight
But I shouldn’t have worried
‘Cos my Maker had a better plan for me

And I’m dancing with the freaks now
I’m havin’, I’m havin’ so much fun
What you sow is what you reap now
I’ll do my dance with everyone
I’ve been getting too much Sun
(Yes I’m dancin’ with the freaks now)
We’re havin’, we’re havin’ too much fun for them
Look who’s talking Guilty feet now’

Well let me tell you people
It’s an easier affair
Not living my life with other people on my mind
No, got nothing to hide from anyone
Yes, I’m walking on new air
Just living my life
Better believe I’m gonna get what’s mine
See I don’t have the time
For the haters

And all the time that I wasted
How careless of me
Too young and stupid to see
I put my life in their hands
(Gonna look for Cupid, man)
Oh, and I know that they want me to hate them
There’s no hurry
I’ll just have to be the bigger man

Dancin’ with the freaks now
I’m havin’, I’m havin’ so much fun
What you sow is what you reap now
I’ll do my dance with everyone
I’ve been getting too much Sun
If I turn the other cheek now
Would that be, would that be too much fun for them’
Look who’s talking
Guilty feet now’

Well let me tell you people
It’s an easier affair
Not livin’ my life with other people on my mind
No, got nothing to hide from anyone
‘Cos I’m walking on new air
Just living my life
Better believe I’m gonna get what’s mine
See I don’t have the time for the haters

Don’t let them tell you who you are is not enough
Don’t let them tell you that it’s wrong
Or that you won’t find love

Don’t let them use my life to put your future down
Don’t let them tell you that happiness can’t be found

For my life

Take it to the streets
There are stories you can keep
They’re just passing you by

Don’t let them tell you who you are is not enough
Don’t let them tell you that it’s wrong
Or that you won’t find love

Don’t let them use my life to put your future down
Don’t let them tell you that happiness can’t be found.

 

 

 

 

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“This Happened Here”

In January of 2015, I was contacted by a producer with the Digital Discovery Networks out of San Francisco CA, inquiring if I would be willing to be a part of a documentary they were gearing up to produce on Leonard Knight’s Salvation Mountain in Niland CA. They were reaching out to me after coming across images on my Flickr account of Leonard and Salvation Mountain that I took when visited there Sept. of 2009.

Digital Discovery Networks is a multi-channel Internet television and digital cable network that creates, produces and distributes Web television shows on niche topics. The documentary was for their Seeker network and was to be featured in the This Happened Here series.

They sent me a link to another documentary they had produced and I felt it would be a cool project to be involved in.

They emailed all the release forms, along with a series of questions they wanted me to answer which would be used in the episode.

I wrote out a script which at first was challenging, because at times, I tend to be long winded.  I realized I couldn’t go through every detail of the day in the story telling, so I had to edit it down.

Once I was comfortable with the script, I then had to record it. The producers were keen on me just speaking into my cellphone and they would edit it from there once I sent them the files.

This whole process was an exercise in just letting go. I must have attempted to record the script at least 30 times. After first, I would stumble a few words in, then I would stumble half way through, towards the the end,  it was just as I was about finished.  I was getting sick of the whole process!!  Knowing that there were stumbles in the recording, I thought ‘oh fuck it” and just sent the recording in.

Last week, I was looking over my Flickr stats and I saw that Laughing Squid out of NYC was linking to my page, I clicked the link and found the video and article about the episode.

Later that day, I received an email from from the producer informing me the episode had been released and where I could find it on YouTube, where it currently has just over 6,900 views.

Here is the original episode of This Happened Here

The episode has been featured on Laughing Squid,   DesignTaxi,  The Omaha-Advertising Agency,

API-Nuzzel,  Gizmodo,  and Museperk.

I still think I sound like a knob and my stumbles are all too obvious. Still, I like the way the folks at Discovery Digital Networks wove their narration, together with my telling of the storyline along with my photographs to create this.

I guess if/when there is a next time, I’ll try to minimize the fuck it’s and work on a smoother delivery of my narration.

 

 

 

 

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Jeff Beck at The State Theatre — 5/23/2015

Jeff Beck played the last show of his 2015 solo tour at the State Theatre in Minneapolis on Saturday night, May 23rd.

Backed by bassist Ronda Smith, guitarist Nicolas Meier, drummer Jonathon Joseph and vocalist Jimmy Hall; Jeff and company launched into an incredible 100 minute set that began with “Loaded’ then moved through a mix of originals and covers that had Jimmy Hall belting out lyrics for “Morning Dew” “ A Change is Gonna Come“Little Wing” “Superstition”Rollin and Tumblin” “Goin Down” or off stage for the instrumentals during “Nadia” “Cause We Ended as Lovers” “Big Block” “A Day In the Life”

The encores were “Danny Boy” and “The Thrill is Gone.” The band returned for a third and final encore of “Foxy Lady”

I have been listening to Jeff Beck since I was ten years old. My brother was a drummer and always used to play along with Blow by Blow and Wired. Blow by Blow is one of my quintessential road trip listens. I photographed Jeff Beck on his Fire and Fury Tour in 1989 with Stevie Ray Vaughan, but didn’t get the quality imagery as I did this past Saturday night.

Working with Jeff’s PR folks, I was granted a photo pass to shoot he first two song of the show. This was short access. I usually am granted three songs. I looked online and found a set list from the show in Chicago two days prior. I watched video clips of the two first two songs and felt that shooting from stage right ( left of house) was the best option. When I arrived at the venue and met the media contact there, they indicated there would be two photographers shooting, I would get left of house and the other would get right of house. I was cool with that, because it was what I had hoped for in the first place.

I nervously paced back and forth front of house shaking the nervousness out my hands as opening act Billy Ruffoul ripped through a 40 minute set. He was a left-handed player and mixed it up between acoustic and electric guitar. He’s a good player…but then, he was opening for Jeff, so maybe that’s an understatement. His last song was “The Seeker” which calmed me down some as I heard The Who play it 10 days earlier. I don’t know, in my mind it seemed to come all full circle.

I made my way to my shooting position and the house went dark at 8:50, precisely the time I was told Jeff would start. “Loaded” began and I moved closer to the stage to capture the action.

For me, the moment of it all was half way through the second song “Nine”, Jeff looked into my camera and smiled and I captured this:

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After the two song minimum, I was at my seat and just so high from what I saw through my lens as the show unfolded before me. I settled in and just grooved hearing Jeff’s playing with the same amazement I have every time I listen to Blow by Blow.

I thought Jimmy Hall’s vocals were ok, but didn’t seem to be on par with the caliber of the rest of the musicians on stage…but he still rocked out.

During Nicolas Meier’s “Yemen” as he and Jeff traded licks I thought it was as if East meets West on the guitar front. Nicolas’ playing was the perfect to compliment to Jeff. From my time shooting and in my seat, I could always see him looking over at Jeff, just smiling away…the bond between these two quite evident.

Ronda Smith’s bass playing never disappoints and I see why she has played with Jeff for years now as she compliments his style completely and can hold her own with a funkalicious style of impressive fingering.

Jonathan Joseph was just an power house on the drums! Whether it was a thundering rhythm, a jazzy four-time and everything in between; he kept a solid presence behind the kit.

Jeff’s playing on “Little Wing” brought tears to my eyes as emotions over came me.

Watching and listening to him play live was just amazing as he finger-picked his Strat making it wail the blues, chop through funk, glide through jazz, blister into heavy rock and then mix it all up again.

Here is the link to the images form the show: https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/sets/72157653422383632

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The Who Hits 50!!

Last night, Pete Townshend and Rodger Daltrey brought their The Who Hits 50 Tour!! to the Allstate Arena in Rosemount, Illinois. The tour is celebration the 50th anniversary of the band and Pete Townshend describes the show as “Hit’s, Picks, Mixes and Misses” while Rodger Daltrey has referred to it as a “long goodbye.”

I drove down from Minneapolis, met up with an old friend from high school and then went to the concert.

The seats where slight of stage right, quarter of the way up the first rise from the back of main floor. I tend to like this area for a show because being back and center of the house provides for a better viewing of the stage show.

I have seen clips of shows at the beginning of the tour and the vocal and technical issues that were noticeable then weren’t present at all last night.

It was classic Who. With Pete ripping it up on guitar, wind-milling with frequency and an occasional jump or slight duck walk; his guitar rang out, flowing though chord progressions and screamin’ riffs reaffirming his signature style. For a guy 6 days shy of his 70th birthday, although his stage gymnastics aren’t what they once were, his playing still reflected his guitar god status

Roger strutted about the stage, swinging his mike about in small arcs and curves, hitting well-know notes with accuracy, but not to the duration of the past. At times he would go silent and wave his hands like a conductor leading the capacity crowd of 18,500 to carry the verse. His harmonica playing still brought the frenzied finish to the last song of the evening Won’t Get Fooled Again. At 70, with light blue tinted glasses and mid length Mod curls, he still maintains a solid frontman presence.

The six member band consisting of Pete’s brother Simon playing rhythm guitar, Zak Starkey on drums, Pino Palladino on bass, Loren Gold, Frank Simes and John Corey sharing backing vocals, piano, keyboards, jaw harp, banjo and bass harmonica created a out a solid background for two icons presence.

Starkey’s drumming and Pino’s bass guitar certainly couldn’t replace Moonie nor Ox’s intensity, yet seemed to fill the space comparably.

The visual graphics flowing across the stage’s background screen ranged from photographic images of the band from their earlier days for My Generation, a big blue eye for Behind Blue Eyes to psychedelic imagery of the 60’s for Join Together and the techno-computerized graphics of the 80’s for Eminence Front.

The crowd consisted of mainly of folks in there 50’s and 60’s but there was a considerable amount of “kids” in their 20’s and 30’s. There were numerous parents who had teen kids in tow.

I was at The Who’s 25th Anniversary Tour at Alpine Valley in the summer of 1989, but was trippin’ balls on magic mushrooms and really don’t remember much except hopping around like a mad Mod dancing, Pete’s loud guitar and John Entwislte’s thundering bass solo. Clean and sober now, I clearity of recall seeing Roger perform Tommy LIVE in 2011; and Pete and Rodger performing Qaudrophenia LIVE in 2012.

No matter when I see these two perform, it brings me excitement and joy to see music of my youth unfold live on stage and am very happy that neither they or I died before we got old.

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52nd Orbit ’round the Sun

Another trip around the sun logged in yesterday and I am grateful. Certainly in the last year there have been some set backs, some warbles, but for the most part it has been a good year.

On a two week jaunt in the Coachella Valley of Southern California, I started out the day with a hike in the San Bernadinio Mountains at the Whitewater Preserve. A front moved through the desert over night, bringing a light rain and early morning cloud cover, which illuminated the mountains. The him was a moderate 3.75 miles, with a elevation gain of 650 feet, which provided a nice view of the canyon that resulted in an expression of my creativity I have not felt since my road trip to the Florida Keys five months ago.

1.DSC_3232The Whitewater Canyon

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The Whitewater River

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The San Bernadino Mountains with Mt. San Jacinto in the background.

Back in Palm Springs later that afternoon, I went to Crystal Fantasy for both a “card reading” and a Reike session. Both were incredible. The reading was so amazing; before I even touched or shuffled the cards, the reader spoke of the things she saw with me and it was uncanny how someone had the ability to see into my life within just a few moments of meeting me.

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Meeting with Joy, Seer and card reader.

The Reike session was just as powerful, but in a total different sense. I had a friend with me and she told me the Reike master was singing/ringing bowls around me at one point…I was so in a zone, I heard nothing. When the session was over I was so “woozy” I had trouble sitting up, could barely stand and had trouble walking the first few steps. Even a few minutes later my equilibrium was off and I almost fell over.

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During the session with Reike Master Geta.

These two sessions brought me such clarity and enlightenment. Now to move forward with this insight as the next orbit begins its solar spin.

The rest of the evening was spent wandering VillageFest on Palm Canyon Drive, where I made my usual purchase of local Medjool dates and other local fare.

Then it was a dinner of sushi, which upon reflection realized I have had sushi as a birthday celebratory meal for at least the last four or five years.

The amount of birthday greetings and wishes I received from causal friends around the country and those close to me was over-whelming!  I am certainly fortunate to be surrounded by the people who are in my life.

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Four Months, Eight Days

Over four months since my last posting and what better time to do so as I rip across the sky in an aluminum can at 38,000 feet. Embarking on yet another desert adventure, seeking the peace, tranquility and connectedness that seems to come to me whenever I venture from Minneapolis.

I have been in a depressed state. An inner voice is calling, yet am not ready to follow; so I go through the motions, dulled, monotonous , mundane.

Cross roads are approaching, a change is on the horizon…I have felt it for awhile. I am restless. Uncertain.

I have been through this all before.

My mind is clouded with too many thoughts. I stare out the window and look out over the snow covered Colorado Rockies.

The West is calling to me again. A dose of 15 days will bring some satisfaction; it will ease the yearning and satisfy the desire.

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