There are at times when things all come together and everything just flows, a synchronicity. And people have said to me “you are living the life of Riley” I smile, ok, cool.
But who is Riley and why do people think my good life is like his or vice versa?
Then too..who is Pete and why is everyone doing things for his love or for his sake?
Which also brings in Betsy and why are people trying to establish a direct link between the heavens, her and/or Pete?
These things make me shudder..and scratch at me head.
Meet Sydney “Cy” Breen. Cy turned 100 years old on Feb. 8, 2012. He is one of the most interesting people I have ever met, with a life story that is truly amazing. Some of it I will share with you here. I worked for Cy for two and a half years starting in 1992 operating one of his business ventures, a photolab and portrait studio. This was my first venture running a business, and Cy believed in me more than I did myself. I took the lab from start up to a successful business, but this was also at the time right as my addiction began to manifest itself in a series of “misadventures” that eventaully lead to me walking away from Cy, the business, everything I had dreamed of and built, hitting bottom and returning to Minnesota to seek rehab. When Cy turned 90, he started a fund-raising event for cancer research in which he played one hole of golf for every year he was alive. That event has raised over $1o0,000 for cancer research in the last ten years.
“The 100 Holes” Poster
When Cy was 94, his step daughter, Jody Klein died of breast cancer , so he created the “The Jody Klein Breast Cancer Research Fund” at The City of Hope Cancer Center as the recipient. This year, in honor of his 100th Birthday, Cy will be playing 100 Holes of golf on March 18, 2012, in the hope of raising $50,000 for cancer research I went to visit Cy while in Palm Springs to wish him a “Happy Birthday” and give him a check towards his goal. Although he is 20 years older than when I first met him, he is still the same: his mind is sharp, he has joyful disposition, a devilish twinkle in his eye and a smile of his face. When I arrived at his house,we gave each other a big hug, then he took me by the arm and gently pulled me into the kitchen where he introduced me to his wife of 15 years, Clarissa, who poured me a cup of coffee. Cy then lead me to the couch, were we settled in and began to chat about his turning 100. I again, wished him a Happy Birthday and he quipped ” Thanks, that’s past, I’m working on 101 now” I wanted to video this time with him, but was so engulfed by the warmth of the energy in the room, that I felt the camera would cause a distraction.
Cy in the 1940’s
I asked him what was the greatest thing he had seen in the last 100 years and he immediately said “Digital Photography” and then he went on for awhile about his past photographic endeavors, the labs he had owned in the 40’s, the chemical process, his freelancing with LA papers that are no longer in existence, his bidding on contracts to supply the Navy and Army with cameras, equipment, flash bulb and projectors.
He shared with me on one occasion in the early 40’s, he boarded a ship for a meeting/delivery and the ship set sail out of LA area: “I thought I was drafted” he smiled “then they docked in San Diego and flew me back up to LA to get to my car.”
At 19, Cy and a 1930 Chevy
He talked about how he got the “California Bug” when running used cars into LA from Arkansas and Louisiana after the Dust Bowl, and “the smell of the orange blossoms and the orange groves coming into Los Angeles and man, I was hooked” He moved his new wife and son to LA in 1934. I asked him what was the most significant event he had seen and he said: “Well, in 1937, I was on business in New Jersey, and I read in the paper about this event that was happening that night, so my wife and I went over to Lakehurst to watch the Hindenberg land. Boy, was that something to see” I was dumbfounded. I had heard alot of Cy’s stories when he would come into the lab back in 90’s, but some of what he was telling me today was new to me, and I just loved listening to him talk, and the gleam that was in his eye.
Cy and Roy Rodgers, 1990
He continued to share, telling me of his friendship with Roy Rodgers and how they raced boats in the late 40’s and 50’s and were winning alot of races. In a corner of the foyer are photographs of Roy, Roy and Dale all signed and captioned “Cy…. Love Roy” or “Love Roy and Dale” Across from the photographs of Roy, are two 11×14 frames, containing the faceplates of trophies, stating things like: “San Diego- La Jolla, 200 Miles, 1st Place, Roy Rodgers-Pilot, Cy Breen Co-Pilot” There are 12 plates in the two frames and two large trophies on the floor.
Cy with Roy holding another 1st Place trophy, 1956
Cy then talked about his affiliation with Rotary International and how he began his involved with that organiztion and the motto “of service above self.” We went into his office and the walls are just lined with letters of commendation, awards for outstanding serivce, letters from and pictures of past Presidents of the Untied States. I marveled at the contents of the room and he just shrugged it off and said: “When you live this long you collect these things”
Cy doing golf exercises
We then went back out into the living room and he showed me his exercise to help his golfing. When he granted his permission, I walked around the house and took photographs of the images I used for this story. We sat back down on the couch and I asked him about his health and his diet and he said: ” Of course I watch what I eat, I have to look at the food to get it in my mouth!” and he let out a chuckle, with that twinkle in his eye. He shared he was at a Rotary luncheon last month, sitting next to a Doctor and as he began to sprinkle salt on his salad the Doctor leaned over to him and said: “You know sodium is can be bad for you” and Cy told him, “you should have told me 98 years ago” and that twinkle returned to his eye. And I realized, that twenty years later, I am still drawn in by and feel such joy from that twinkle. He then began to share about how to him, life as a whole, feels like many life times. And he gave examples of how the various times of his life, the car running of the 30’s, the photo 40’s, the boat racing of the 50’s ( I realize now, we didnt talk much about the 1960’s, 70’s or 80’s.) and the time I was affiliated with him in the 1990’s all as lifetimes, and how life changes into different lifetimes. And this changing of lifetimes is good. He said for him, “the most important thing is to smile, because it makes you feel good.. so always smile.”
Years as Member
I asked “Cy, How long have you been a AAA member?” “Well, I was with a company like them for 16 years before they were bought out by AAA.” He then opened up his wallet and showed me his AAA card. He started driving when he was 14.
He shared with me that his just renewed his CA Driver’s License passing both the Written and the Driving Test with out any errors.
As he put the AAA card back into his wallet he said his only concern now is to outlive the expiration date on his credit cards. He stated that he doesn’t get a senior citizen discount anymore, now he gets the meals free. I didn’t fully appreciate it when I worked for him those short two and a half years, but this man was more of a father to me than my own father ever was. Cy’s energy is just phenomenal; it is never dark, always uplifting and contagious. I know that there has been some personal tragedy and heartache in his life, but I have never seen it affect him in a negative way. It was good to spend some time with him.
The NOH8 Campaign is a silent photographic protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska and partner Jeff Parshley
in response to the passage of Proposition 8, amending the California State Constitution to ban same-sex marriage in 2008.
I became aware of the NOH8 Campaign 2010 as I discovered Adam Bouska’s work, and became affiliated with the Campaign by volunteering when it was in Minneapolis for it’s open shoot in Feb. 2011.
In June of 2011, the campaign was in Des Moines,IA for the Matthew Shepard Scholarships Awards Dinner, which I was attending to photograph.
When I saw the campaign was having an Open Shoot in San Diego this weekend, it was a given with me being in Palm Springs, to travel over and volunteer again.
I left PS around 7:30, gased up and headed towards Palm Desert, as the route I choose into San Diego was CA 74, over to CA 79, into Temecula to I-15 into San Diego. CA 74 is a narrow two laner that rises up out of the desert into the Santa Rosa Mountains with a series of hairpin turns hugging the hillside with just a guard rail, at times just wire, between the road and a steep drop into the canyons below. Always a good way to accelerate the adrenaline
. Once out of the initial climb, the road is an easy drive thru the mountains, with better scenery than the freeway.
Mt. San Jacinto from the West.
When I drove by the intersection of CA 371, I remembered that I could have taken that shorter route, but already had the route I was on logged into my brain’s GPS.
I made my way thru the mountains, into Hemet, then Temecula and on into Sa Diego. I-15 just seemed to zoom and into no time I was on CA 163 into Downtown San Diego, and with ease I was at my destination; the Hotel Solamar in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego.
It was an odd mix of high end upscale restaurants to burger & taco joints; souvenir and clothing shops; bars and clubs, smartly dressed people, beach bums, the college crowd, homeless pushing towering shopping carts of ‘stuff’ and others just sleeping on the sidewalk.
A sampling of the architecture in the Gaslamp Quarter
Huevo con Tocino
It was an eclectic place and I felt right at home. I wandered around taking pictures and decided to eat at Bolillo Tortas, on 4th Avenue. I order a Huevo con Tocino which is scrambled eggs, bacon, asadero cheese, onion, avocado, tomato, lettuce, beans mayo and mustard on a whole wheat bun with a side of fresh staemed veggies and a bacon wrapped cheese-filled jalapeno. It was the best! Fresh, non greasy and tasted great!
I made my way over to Hotel Solamar to the NOH8 Shoot. There I met Chris Hayden, the NOH8 Volunteer coordinator. Since I have worked the registration table a couple of times before, he assigned me there again, which is cool, because I get to meet & greet everyone, but also have enough freedom to run around and take pictures behind the scenes of the event.
Chris Hayden and the NOH8 volunteers
Chris organized the volunteers to the various post throughout the shoot: tattoo and duct applicators, merchandise table, event co-ordinators.
Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley were setting up the studio, while Byrce Ferguson set up the merch table and the payment table.
I was at the registration table getting the model release forms numbered and organized.
Participants were beginning to form line out side of the room where the studio was located an hour before the start of the shoot.
Jeff came up to the registration table and I chatted with him about the upcoming shoot in Duluth, MN in Aug. and his plan to incorporate more cities in Minnesota around that time.
I wandered around and took a few pictures of the event coming together.
Adam Bouska enjoying a little quiet time before the start of the shoot.
20 minutes ahead of the start the line had formed all the way down the hall towards the lobby of the hotel, so Jeff and Adam decided to start the shoot early.
The first wave of participants filled the waiting/tat app room quickly and so it started, non stop for the next five and a half hours, over 700 people showed to have their photo taken in support of the NOH8 Campaign.
The crowd is always so much fun. They are polite, respectful…sometimes alittle zany and I love it.
Around 7:20, the last in the line had the picture taken and the volunteers group shot was taken.
Jeff Parshley applying the duck tape
Participants Waiting for their shoot.
Applying the NOH8 tattoo
Selling NOH8 Merchandise
Adam Bouska in action
I had to get my vehicle out of the parking lot by 7:40, so I bid adieu to Adam, Jeff, Chris, Byrce telling them I would see them in Duluth and then said goodbye to volunteers I worked with, then the group as a whole. I got to the SUV with just enough time to spare. The nightlife of the Gaslamp Quarter was just starting to come alive, and I had what I thought would be a three hours drive ahead of me, so I opted to begin my trip back to Palm Springs and come back to San Diego when I had more time.
I took mostly the same route home only followed CA 79 North from Hemet into Beaumont and picked up the 10 back to CA 111 into Palm Springs.
The NOH8 photos from San Diego will be posted on Flickr later this week, and when they are,i will post the link here.
What first drew me to this place, was the story of Giant Rock splitting in February of 2000. From that story I began to research Geo. Van Tassel, Giant Rock and the Integratron. I was especially curious about Van Tassel’s contact with a star being named Solgonda, which created my desire to come and check the place out.
I had never heard of the Integratron when I lived in Palm Springs in the late 1990’s, but would come up to Joshua Tree for what was at that time an unpracticed and inconsistent form of mediation.
I first came here in 2009, but that first year couldn’t make a connection to get on the property or into the machine.
I had my first sound bath, a public one, with a group of 25 – 30 or so others who arrived here for the same purpose in Nov. 2010
I rented the place solely for the first time in Nov 2011 and am here again 94 days later.
Any time I venture into Southern California now, a stop here is without question.
The drive up from Palm Springs took about 45 minutes and I encountered rain and even snow north of Yucca Valley, which was cool to see snow on the desert floor and plants.
I arrived out side the gate of the Integratron around 3:30 and was greeted by Dray-tron, who I had met when I was here back in November. He suggested I drive my vehicle next to door of the Integratron due to the rain.
I brought my gear in, Dray-tron and I chatted for awhile, he gave me the key to the gate and at the same time, spiritually and cosmically handed over the place to me. He left me alone in the sound chamber so I could fire the place up with my energy before he returned a short time later to give me the sound bath.
A clip of my arrival and my entering the Dome right before my sound bath:
At 4:10 in the clip you can hear somewhat what the sound of standing in the portals is like. At 4:36, I move the camera out away from my body and you can hear the sound shift.
The Sound Bath
There are seven chakras (energy fields) located within the body, from The Crown at the top of the head to The Root or Base, located at the base of the spine. The chakras are related to, align or coordinate with both a color and a sound.
The Quartz Bowls
The sound bath incorporates the striking of a quartz bowl, making it “sing” or vibrate, resonating a tone that nurtures each chakra.
One of the things I was planning on doing here tonight was photography, but the front that moved in bringing rain and snow has changed that. There is no star shine. I guess it will have to wait for another time. This weather will “force” me to spend the duration of my time here inside the Integratron itself. This will give me ample time to experience the full magnitude of the place. Spend time upstairs creating and amplifying energy, and then go downstairs to process what I felt. The upcoming writing will be what is processing after time spent in the sound chamber.
The Yellow Zone
The following are entries made in the yellow zone on the ground floor after spending time upstairs in the sound chamber. The time log is off the computer clock.
5:54 pm
The sound bath is complete. I am renewed. How long did it last, an hour? An hour and a half? I have no idea. Borrowing a line from Led Zeppelin: I was ” a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been.”
I had been feeling crappy, with out appetite for the last five days. And now, just two hours here, and I feel fine and am actually hungry. I have a little food, but it will carry me thru. I am sitting in the yellow zone, downstairs wide awake. It is raining now and the sound of the rain falling on the dome is similar to small waves crashing on the sand, a gentle calming rhythm.
This time the sound bath had 14 bowl, two octaves, per note, per chakra. At times I would be present to laying on the floor and at other times I would feel as if I was floating out….in space, then I would be present to being on the floor and then back out again. The vibration of the larger bowls would take me furthest. The vibration of the some of smaller bowls seemed to circle around my head, bringing a balance of left and right sides.
6:54pm
Just spent an hour sitting lotus, silent for a time, then in chant. Where these sounds come from is unknown to me, but they flow as if I know them well. They have not been rehearsed, yet are practiced.
I am not worried about where or what they are. I trust that they are guided by and coming from Source; that from which all things come from and that all things return, that which is nothing, yet, is everything.
The rain is softer now, and the wind has died down. The outside temp is 34, the inside temp is 52.
As I stare at the lower structure of this building, it is an amazing design, simplistic, yet majestic. The energy that is here, both by the people who have been here, those who are affiliated with it, and those who come here to visit, is just intense.
At one point there were three geomagnetic currents flowing beneath the Dome, now there are 17. They keep on increasing every time they are measured. The place is getting stronger.
As I said in the clip at the beginning of this post, I feel more connected here than I ever have to anything else, be it family, drug, lover, art, music, 12 steps, religion… ANYTHING. I am completely at peace. Have no anxieties, fears or apprehensions and feel as one with all. Truly comfortable in my own skin.
The only thing I notice when I am here that is an oddity: my continuing need to urinate….even thou I am not drinking a lot.
The Upper Portal The Lower Portal
7:51pm
This time I stood between the portals, stated my intention and then the chanting started. This one seemed to swell more, be more pronounced, but then that is how this works. The energy spikes up from the lower portal, up from the floor; it feels greater standing up above the portal, than sitting on it. I swayed in a circle as I chanted, completing multiple slow rotations facing each direction. The energy changes at each direction, taking on a different dimension with each turn, thus creating, it seems, a pillar of energy, with me being the center. As the chanting grew, filling the room with sound, it kept growing and growing, then I felt it the energy wane, and then dissipate. I sat down over the portal, lotus, silent.
I am feeling awake, refreshed clear-headed and of course have to pee again.
8:42 pm
Just had a series of chants, song like sounds, with a flow…a pattern of sounds, in repetition for a verse, then altering a sound or two by a note. Four chants, each with different sounds and notes.
Then as happened last time when I was here…the “alien sounds” came out. Not chants, not song like sound, not a language, but an alien sound, I really can’t describe…clicks, sounds, noises…something…mechanical (?) It is very fast, drawing my breath and then accelerating faster. It just freaks me out…I tried to pull away from my stance in the portals, but really couldn’t. As with the chants, I always just let the sound flow until I feel nothing left. With this sound, as it began to get faster and become more pronounced, I wanted to pull away but remained, um, transfixed until there is no more sound left. When it ended, it was if I was let go or let down, released, I stumbled to the left of the portals and staggered slightly towards the east wall. An odd feeling came over me, excited yet somewhat nervous, but calm. What the heck are these sounds? And where do they come from? My apprehension subsided and the energy in the room calmed me further with a knowledge that I am safe in this room and everything is from Source to me and it is good.
And now, I am exhausted…. And keep yawning. I’ll pee yet AGAIN and then crawl into my sleeping bag and see if I can rest. I have been here five and a half hours yet it seems like I have been here so, so much longer…and not just here…but somewhere else far off and out at the same time.
5:08 am
Am up again after sleeping for the last eight hours. Occasionally I would wake up to turn or reposition, but then fall right back to sleep. I slept with my head over the lower portal, my feet facing south -southeast
The dreams were fluid throughout the night. Clear, very real…some I were a part of…in, others were just visuals. All seemed to portray the theme of my intention.
There are a few stars out now, and some broken clouds to the north. Dawn has yet to break, the moon hidden by clouds to the west. Winds blow briskly out of the west Temp is 38 degrees.
The abdominal condition producing pain, spasms and a liquid bowel that had me running to a toilet multiple times a day for the last five is gone away. I feel as if I was never sick.
6:25 am
Morning chant ~ The Chamber came alive with what little light came with the dawn. There is snow on the mountains to the west, a grey overcast sky. A brittle desert winter morning, cold, moisture still in the air, but what was once soggy sand and puddles are now dry.
I sat in lotus, then stood in chant over the lower portal. I decided to move the bedroll and the space heater back away from where I stood on the portal. I stepped back into portal and resumed the chant and the power of the sound amplified tremendously.
The sound of “HU” and “RA” seem to be the sounds this morning. Funny, I should have thought to write the sounds last night, but I was in a different zone then.
Here is a clip of a chant sampling. I have my eyes closed when doing this and was unaware of the shifting light in room as I was chanting.
9:09 am – a gap of time as I wandered out side, took some pictures of the desert and then chatted with Drayton as he brought me some tea. The guy is incredible. In touch with so much of a universal vibe. I guess you can’t live on the property and not be in a higher state. If I attain it after just a night…what would I be like if I lived here. And I could.
So the question is: when?
The chants this morning have been based in various themes, chants for people in my life, past and present. Mantras of forgiveness, love, health and well being…all a continuation of my intention while I am here.
There is the over all energy I take away from this place and then there is the energy that is implanted that will surface at a later date.
As I wind down to the 90 minute mark of my time, I am heading back upstairs to chant.
‘hu’ ‘ra’ ‘om’ ‘ma’ are the resonating sounds.
10:05 am ~~~ The addict in me wants to get as much out of here as possible in the last 90 or what is now, 55 minutes, but the nature of my time here is to set an intention, then chant and then allow the machine to vibrate with this energy, then bathe me in it, recharge me every cell with it
Last night this was taking longer periods of time as I focused on aspects of my life that needed the most time….my healing and connection with source.
This morning it is an expression of joy, happiness and love I feel towards others, my friends, co-workers and people I my life.
11:31 am ~~ I have exited the Integratron and now sit out on the patio of the office as the next guests have moved into the Dome. My hosts Joanne and Drayton tell me I bring the cold weather with me from MN (“Everywhere you go, always take the weather. Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you” ~ N.Finn)
So they have invited me back in the summer to bring alittle cooler weather then.
The weather when I was here last November was colder, but last nights rain and snow made it damper. It is currently 40 degrees winds out of the north north-west
So where am I at? Here is a clip from the last few minutes in the Dome:
But to add on to that. I am so connected to Joanne and Drayton and they too me. Just complete strangers 95 days ago, I feel as if I have known them my whole life. Good friends. The fact that they refer to me as Joey B., but it’s how they say it that is just the trippest. Like the guys in the bike shop in Palm Desert who also called me Joey B. the same way. Maybe it’s from the email address…I dunno, but I love it.
The sense of peace that I feel is overwhelming. It is beyond description.
For every minute I spend in that sound chamber that brings peace and tranquility, feels as if it cancels some the time spent in angst and anxiety I felt during the 30 years of addictive insanity. And my time here brings a stronger base to why I am staying clean and sober in the first place…for a centered, clear peace of mind.
Here is the link to images captured at the time this post was drafted:
Feb. 14th ~ the day of love, romance, sweet-hearts, couples, togetherness…. and big business, Valentine’s Day sales are expected at $18 BILLION this year.
For other’s, the single hearts, it can be a day of depression, anxiety, sadness usually masked by an over-indulgance of food, drinking or drugs.
I was, for years the lonely heart, as sad sack without the significant other to celebrate this or any holiday with.
There was “The One ( that wasn’t),” the person who captured my heart and desires and for many years I hung on to the delusion that one day we would be, um, together. We shared alot of life, but I always wanted more ( shocking behavior for an addict, huh?) He told me that he didn’t share the same feelings, but his actions, at least to me, said something else. I ignored the words and focused on the actions.
He went off into the military and I moved to California.
On Valentine’s Day, 1993, I was living in Palm Springs CA and was in my usual state of depressive drinking at my favorite bar, but the day was bringing out more self-pity that was coming out as arrogance and anger.
After a series of Budweisers and Jagermiester, I began to feel contempt and disgust for the couples around the bar that were celebrating the day together. As I made my way back to the bar from the bathroom, I don’t really know why or to prove what, but I started to go up to various tables and booths of couples and started barking at them things like: “Love is for one asshole that doesn’t know how to cook” ” Love is for one fuckhead who can’t do laundry” “Love is for one loser that can’t pay rent”
Not surprisingly, there were complaints to the bartender, who was a close friend of mine. When I reached the bar, he said “Joey, you’re being rude. I am cutting you off” My anger swelled, knowing he was just going through another rocky breakup, I yelled at him: ” YOU! You’re incapable of even maintaining a loving relationship with YOUR HAND!” He yelled “GET OUT!” as he came around the bar grabbed my by the collar and the seat off the pants and pushed me out the door.
Extremely agitated for being cut off and 86ed, I hoped into my pick up truck and tore out of the parking lot onto Indian Avenue and began to take out my aggressions on the gas pedal and clutch. Although I was in a Ford Ranger, in my mind I was driving an Indy car and worked the clutch by the whining of the engine, and quickly dropped into 5th gear.
When I passed the police car that was sitting in a parking lot 8 blocks away, I didn’t realize I was doing 85 mph in a 30 mph zone. When I noticed the lights in the distance behind me, I thought it was an ambulance and if I could make it past the hospital a mile ahead, there would be no problem, so I stepped on the gas.
A quarter of a mile past he hospital, I realized that it wasn’t an ambulance, but could see now it was a police car right on my ass, I pulled over.
I received my first DUI that night, which was the beginning of my end, but yet at the same time the start of my recovery process, although it took another DUI six months to the day later, multiple drug offenses, stints in jail, two rehabs stays and 11 years to finally get the recovery process to stick.
Today, I am at peace with the day, who I am, where I am. That, but mostly, I just don’t give a shit about Valentine’s Day.
The Tour de Palm Springs is billed as the largest charity rides in America, raising funds for over 151 local charities. It started out in 1999 with 300 riders and this years ride had over 11,000 riders. What drew me to the event was the fact that you could pick a charity that your entry fee would go to. I choose the Desert Hot Springs Jazz Band, which is the marching band & jazz band programs at the Desert Hot Springs Middle and High School.
The day before the race, my friend David Serna and I went over to pick up my rental bike at TRI-A-BIKE in Palm Desert. The antics and zaniness of the bike guys at the shop made me feel right at home. The guy helping me with my rental totally punked me into believing I was getting this sweet tricked-out bike for the ride. I ended up with a K2 road bike.
Afterwards we went down to the Bike Expo to register. The Expo was situated along Palm Canyon Drive, between Tahquitz Canyon Way and Amado Road.
After registering, we wandered thru the Expo looking at the various wares and bikes the vendors had for sale. David is just getting into the sport for health and fitness reasons and I was amazed at how versed he is and his knowledge of the various bikes. I, of course, told him this, but also keep ribbing him to ” just get your ass on a bike and RIDE”
As we passed by the Trek booth, David pointed out a bike that he said cost $10,000. The rep confirmed this. I jokingly suggested that he let me take that bike out on the tour and said: “yea, we can do that, that’s why we are here. To let people try out our bikes. But that one’s too big for you and the one that would fit you we just let someone take.” Grrr.
David dropped me off, and I went and took the K2 for a ride, just a quick five miles to get used to a road bike, as I usually just ride MTB’s.
The supplement Mixture
I woke up four hours before the start of the ride and two hours later drank the supplement mixture I use prior to major rides and/or skate marathons. It is similar to my workout mixture, just tweeked atlittle with extra energy enhancers & fat burners. It’s basically a mix of chemistry ( amino acids), herbs and protein to enhance performance by effectively turning stored fat into fuel, to bring mental clarity and reduce fatigue. It is mixed with water and a tablespoon of safflower or olive oil. It is completely natural.
The morning of the ride, my friend Marti wanted to take some pics of me before the race so she snapped the following:
I rode down to the start point three miles from base camp at Amado and Palm Canyon Drive. I entered thru the registration point at Tahquitz Canyon Way, there I was handed a map and told of the extreme wind conditions that were blowing bicyclists off their bikes at Indian Canyon Drive and I-10, and that alot of riders were turning around and opting for the 25 mile ride instead. I was alittle nervous with this news, but figured I would give it a go and if I could make it up over I-10, then I was good.
The start of the 56 mile Tour de Palm Springs
As I approached the start, I snapped this at 8:14am.
The first couple few miles were low key easy going as we headed up Indian Canyon Drive. At the five mile mark, I saw a guy at the side of the road changing a flat and realized, “shit, I have no gear to handle that.”
Once in North Palm Springs, passing the windfarms, the wind was blowing thru the San Gorgonino Pass from the west.
I had to lean sideways to the left into the wind to keep upright. Most of the riders in front of me were doing the same thing. We made our way steadily north along Indian Canyon Drive, passing thru road construction that had created a trench to the right of the road. With a gust of wind, one rider was blown off the road into the trench. Other riders began getting off their bikes and walking. I dropped into a lower gear and stayed my course, leaning to the left, keeping a safe distance from the trench.
At the seven mile mark, we turned off of Indian Canyon Road left onto Garnet Avenue directly due west into the wind. The wind was just howling, making a rippling sounds in my ears. It was slow going as I made my way . I kept telling myself, “If I can make it thru to the other side of I -10, I’ll be set.”
I kept with the pack as we crossed over I-10, and directly into the middle of the windmills of the windfarm. The road started up and into the farms, I again dropped into a lower gear and started to climb slowly passing other riders and people walking their bikes.
The uphill lasted for about 1.5 miles, the it leveled off, then it was another up hill climb and at the top of the hill,
at mile 13 the winds subsided and I took a break.
Riders making their way North along Wesley Avenue towards Pierson Blvd.
At Pierson Blvd, we turned left, and headed down hill with the wind at our backs. Riders where flying by me like I was standing still. I was geeking out and starting to tense up at the speed, after all I am not used to riding a road bike nor it speed. My Garmin tracked me at 31 mph at this point.
Located at Mile 20 was the first rest stop at Two Bunch Palms Elementary School.
When I arrived there were three kids rocking out, jamming Carlos Santana, I went up in front of them and howled and gave a couple of fist pumps. The girl played bass, smiled, nodded and acknowledged my goofiness. I went over to the refreshments and had a couple cups of dried fruit consisting of dried bananas, dates rolled in oat flour, apricots and raisins. I grabbed some water and waited in line to the port-a-potty. As I waited, the trio of young musicians played a variety of tunes: jazz, rock, and blues. I was impressed. They where good and played flawlessly. I was pleased to see the charity I had chosen in action.
The ride went thru Desert Hot Springs east along Hacienda Avenue. At one point along Hacienda, there where three little kids,2 girls and a boy, eight or ten years old along side the road. The girls were doing cheerleader moves and yelling cheers ” GO BIKERS!! GO GO GO BIKERS!! YA BIKERS!!” I started moving my body to the chants and the little boy joined the girls in thier movements. I jsut laughed and yelled “RA RA YEAH!!! Thnaks you guys!!!”
The thing that amazed me most on this ride, as I got into it 20 or so miles, were the handicapped riders in specially designed bikes that they pedal with a rowing motion of their arms. As I passed each one, I gave them a thumbs up and shouted words of encouragement: “Way to go! Looking Good! Nice Form!” one guy just laughed and asked me if I was crazy. I can’t imagine how these guys must have felt after biking 56 miles with their arms!
The route continued along Hacienda Ave. onto Dillion and at the 24 Mile mark was the second rest stop out in the middle of Sky Valley. A volunteer asked to hold my bike and I handed it over to her. I ate an energy bar and drank some protein drink that was being handed out. I went back to my bike and chatted with the volunteer holding my bike. She knows my former employer, Cy Breen and we chatted about him for a while. Such a small world.
The second rest stop in Sky Valley.
Mugging for the camera at The Sky Valley Rest Stop.
From Dillion, the ride turned south onto 1000 Palms Canyon Road and thru the Coachella Valley Nature Preserve. I picked up speed going along this leg of the route, but it wasn’t as fast as along Pierson Road earlier, but I was more comfortable in the ride at this time.
From there along Ramon Road to Washington into Palm Desert. At Mile 46 was the Rest Step at Trent Beverage. Here I refueled on bananas, mini Cliff Bars, electrolyte & protein drinks.
This was the last stop and I began the last leg of the ride into Palm Springs. From Washington Avenue South to Country Club to the east. There were quite alot of riders along this leg of the ride. I would follow behind a herd for awhile. Then pass and follow another. Riders kept gathering up at lights, waiting for the lights to change.
At Monterey Ave. I followed a pack of bikers thru the intersection heading west. This was the only confusion during the route. We should have turned north on Monterey to Dinah Shore. A the next intersection, Bob Hope Drive, I stopped and looked at the map and realized the error. I turned north on Bob Hope Drive and headed north to Dinah Shore Drive, passing the Annenberg Estate, Sunnylands.
At Dinah Shore, I turned left and headed west thru Rancho Mirage, Cathedral City and then into Palm Springs. As Dinah Shore became East Mesquite, the route travel by Demuth Park then turned north on El Cielo up to Baristo. I chuckled as I passed the back of the Palm Springs Police Station.
It was this last mile or so that I began to feel a sense of satisfaction as I realized I would be completing the ride without any situations.
Turning north on Baristo, the route went up to Tahquitz Canyon Way. Once on Tahquitz, it was just a matter minutes and I woul be crossing the finish line. At Tahquitz & Indian Canyon the light changed and I was forced to stop and wait for the light to turn green. I could hear the music and the cheering of the finish line and I pulled my camera out and cued it up to to shoot. The light changed and I proceeded thru the intersection towards Palm Canyon. The Palm Springs High School Cheerleaders were there chanting similar cheers to the little cheerleaders in Desert Hot Springs 2 hours earlier.
Approaching the finish line.
I crossed the finish line, wandered thru the Expo again for a bit, then rode back to ‘base camp”
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The above was written by Max Erhmann, an attorney from Terra Haute, Indiana sometime in the 1920’s. There is some confusion surrounding the history and the story of this and for years it was circulated as “author unknown.”
I first discovered it in 1996 when at a purveyors house acquiring illegal narcotics. My drug use by this time had long lost its “fun” and I was deep in the darkness of self-hatred that consumed me as the drugs lost their “magic”. I tried desperately to escape my pained reality, of course to no avail.
This was less than a year out from my first admittance into a drug rehab facility. I was lost, angry, scared, vengeful, doubted an existence of God or Source, I didn’t want to live, but was afraid to die.
The purveyor had this framed on a small wall between his living room into his kitchen. The first time I read it, it was as if a bolt of lightening shot thru me and I began to cry. The purveyor, Chef (as he was called for his ability to cook meth) was taken aback by my reaction and told me so.
“People who come thru here barely notice that piece, Joey, let alone cry about it. You’re a good man.”
Months later when I knew I was leaving California for rehab, I went to say goodbye and aquire more dope. As I was leaving, Chef took the frame piece off the wall and handed it to me, looked me in the eye and recited verbatim it to me. Again, I began to just cry ( even now as this memory is recalled).
I have it hanging on the small wall between my living room into my kitchen.
Not surprisingly, I find that the longer I maintain a clear head thru clean time and sobriety, an enlightenment, understanding or insight keeps breaking thru what was once a dark spot or dysfunction in my thinking.
A theme that keeps reoccurring is how I have, in an almost obsessive way, focused on the people who treat me with disregard and neglected the ones who express a genuine regard for me.
I see this going back to the core issue instilled with the abandonment by my father thru divorce, and then death.
In high school, I sought the attentions of a classmate I had a crush on and that rejection fueled the issue and I began to ease the pain thru self medication of weed and alcohol.
Thru Facebook, I have reconnected with high school classmates, some more intensely than others, but with most of them I realize that I was blind to the fact of our friendship.
There is one particular relationship that developed in my life 7 years after high school where this theme of obsessing on ‘the one (that wasn’t) is so glaring to me now and I am still working thru it…but am not really ready to discuss that at this time.
As of late, I have become aware of people expressing a genuine regard, a caring/energy for me.
It is happening in Minneapolis and it is happening here in Palm Springs. Folks who express a genuine interest, caring, love for me.
I have spent years focusing on the ones who treated me with disregard, blind to the ones treated me with regard.
It is such a sense of warmth and happiness as I now begin to see this and can recognize the beauty of the ones who express sincerity and begin to let go of those who don’t.
It is this warmth, happiness…this peace of mind I acheive that I never had when I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol…it is these lessons, these moments of enlightenment that keep me on the path of a non-chemical life.
Image currently being used by the Travel Channel's website
Situated at the northwest end of the Coachella Valley, at the eastern base of Mt San Jacinto, 111 miles east of Los Angeles and 136 miles northeast of San Diego, Palm Springs has been called the crown jewel of the Desert Resorts community, the playground to the rich and famous, and the GLBT retirement capital of the world.
It has been the home of the of the Cahuilla people for 350 – 500 years, who have used the various canyons in the area (Indian, Murray, Andreas, Palm and Tahquitz) for survival, spirituality and healing.
I discovered Palm Springs 1989. I traveled here with an disabled employer who was seeking to break up the monotony of a Minnesota winter. We stayed a week that year, then returned to following year for two weeks.
Something called to me that second year. I am not sure what, maybe it was the the energy I felt or my gaydar was just screaming off the charts…or both.
Palm Canyon Drive was packed with almost naked college aged & mid twenty somethings partying like crazy…it was Spring Break.
When I returned to MN, I waited a month, gave my two weeks noticed with the employer, packed up a U-Haul and moved to out here with $561.00 in my pocket.
Palm Springs holds alot of history for me. It was here where I launched my professional photography career, and achieved success with that, but more importantly, it is also the place where my addiction came to head and almost ended my life.
When I first arrived here in 1990, I was told: ” This place is a vortex, it will either lift you up, or slam you down, HARD! There is no middle ground”
I, of course, didn’t heed these words and the prophecy came true for me to each extreme.
I fled Palm Springs in Fall of 1997 to seek rehab for my drug addiction and returned to Minnesota.
I first time I returned in the late summer of 1998, I was smoking weed before my ride had exited the airport. And of course I fell into old ways fast. When I left two weeks later, as the airplane lifted off the tarmac, I could feel the energy just draining away from me as if a part of me was being left on the ground and I was being pulled out away from it. I feel into a deep sleep. That was the last time I used drugs in Palm Springs. ( although it still took another six years for me to become completely clean and sober).
Th last four years I have returned here at least once a year, but it is usually twice a year.
On one early occasion, I flew into town geared up for camping and had all my gear in a couple of backpacks, one wrapped around the other. The plane landed just as night was falling. I began to walk from the airport West towards Palm Canyon Drive to catch a bus that would take me to the campground I was staying at the first couple of nights. Twilight silhouetted Mt. San Jacinto.
I walked past the courthouse where some of my hearings took place, the office that once housed my probation officer, the jail I had been in numerous time, old apartments where I lived, where I was violently assaulted…all this negative past rising up into my face from memory; and then with a clarity I have never felt before in my life, it was all canceled out by an energy that welled up in me that was so powerful: I was clean and sober! And it was gonna stay that way.
From that moment on, the energy I feel when I am here is almost indescribable. I feel a sense of purpose, I feel connected to Source, to the world, to the Universe….to All. I am confidant, secure. I have clarity, I am at peace, there isn’t an angst.
Its as if for every self-destructive moment I created in the negative vortex; when I am here, now, on the opposite side of that vortex, the energy is just amplified to the positive by 100.
Looking South-Southwest towards the Indian Canyons with Tahquitz Canyon at the right
There is definitely a “magic,” an energy in the air that I don’t feel anywhere else. It’s one of the reason I keep returning and the reason why, in time I will call this place home again.
Five days ago, I discovered that a country radio station was using one of my images of a Minneapolis event, with accreditation, on it’s website.
On a total whim, I sent an email to the General Manager with a link a to my Flickr images of musicians and the proposal of us forming a partnership, his radio station and my Live Performance Photography. Unclear with the exact nature of my proposal, he responded back to me, that he forwarded my original email to his Digital Media Manager; who then in turn, contacted me expressing a keen interest in my work and a request to contact him.
This morning before I left Minneapolis I made the call. During the conversation I discussed my history, he kept going back to the caliber of my work and then we discussed what each of our needs are and how we can help one another to meet these goals.
I now represent a media company that owns 6 radio stations as a photographer and will be photographing concerts for their websites.
You may have heard the expression: “ The boy has a face for radio”
Well, I guess, now I can say my photography has a place on radio.
It makes me shutter... 