Nine years ago tonight I quit using crystal methamphetamine. Sometimes I feel like I wasted nine good years. HAHA. No, not really
I was at the Rollerdome skating tonight as the clock turned 8:34 pm, the exact minute I put the pipe down nine years ago, and the surge of energy that came over me was intense. Really, thou, all day long I had a sly smirk on me face and was kind of giddy. When I think back to the days of my use and the anxiety, fear, uncertainly, emptiness, loneliness that use to occupy my mind was such utter desperation…the very force that kept me using to try and mask all I felt. Now being clean and sober, none of those destructive thought processes dwell on my mind. Oh, sure they may cross it occasionally. But I am not consumed by them any longer. More importantly, I am able to feel my emotions as they arise, not chemical induced delusions.
The last 12 months have been incredible for me. All areas of my life continue to improve, some areas still need vast improvement..but it’s a forward motion.
For me, the reconnection to and the re-emergance of my art and my talent brings me the greatest joy. I have done more photography in the last 12 months than I have in the last 12 years.
I have reconnected to some old friends, made some new ones and some distance is occurring with others. All I am at peace with.
“More will be revealed…”